Page 59 - Reflections on St. Joseph

Indeed, as we imitate St. Joseph in his closeness to our blessed Mother, we might experience the
same reaction as he did, a fear that perhaps we are not worthy, a fear that perhaps we are not
capable, a fear that perhaps there is one better than us that should take our place. In peace and
tranquility though, we imitate St. Joseph in listening to the voice of the Lord revealed to us, in
choosing not to fear, in drawing close to Jesus and Mary, and in allowing God to work through
our littleness.

Authentic intimacy.

Some years back, our Province in the United States admitted a young man as an aspirant. He
had many virtues and qualities that seemed to point to a religious vocation, and for some years
he advanced through aspirancy, postulancy, the novitiate, and into temporary vows. I worked
with him personally at various stages in his formation, and I can attest to his great openness
and eagerness in seeking God’s will. But, he also came to the Congregation from a family
situation that is unfortunately more and more common in today’s world: his parents had
divorced, and both had remarried; both of his stepparents had various children from other
marriages, and he joked to me once that not even Our Lady, Untier of Knots, could untangle his
family tree. Behind the humor though, was a truth that was impossible to ignore: his family
life had affected him deeply, and not always for the better. Ultimately, this young man left
formation, in part because his family background made it difficult for him to fully understand
the family spirit and commitment of our Congregation.

There is without a doubt a crisis of relationship and family in modern times, a crisis that is as
insidious as it is heartbreaking. The breakdown of the family has led young people to struggle
to trust those uniquely charged with their care. This lack of trust bleeds into other relationships
in their lives, including their relationship with God, and our young people in turn have an even
harder time creating healthy relationships and understanding commitment. Consequently,
they seek out intimacy and relationship in destructive and unsatisfying ways, either through
sexual deviance and sin, alienation and isolation, or even through meager technological
substitutes.

Yet, it is not only young people that face such threats and temptations. Within our own
religious life and consecration, even confreres with many years of faithful consecration can find
themselves seeking out intimacy in misguided and even harmful ways. The brokenness of the
world has not spared religious life and its members.

For the Oblates of St. Joseph though, we have the perfect example and antidote to overcome the
afflictions of the heart that might assault us. The Holy Spouses, Mary and Joseph, found in their
chaste love for one another, the most rewarding and authentic intimacy that creatures on earth
can experience. As Pope St. John Paul II wrote of St. Joseph, the love between Mary and Joseph
“proved to be greater than this ‘just man’ could ever have expected within the limits of his
human heart” (Redemptoris Custos 19). Indeed, in his vocation as husband, St. Joseph reminds
us that true intimacy and authentic love is found precisely in conformity to God’s will through
chastity.

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Reflections on st. joseph